The Mystery Flavor

What's your stand-by Dum Dum flavor? Does the evil temptress watermelon excite your taste buds? Or perhaps you're the type to stand on a table dancing while enjoying the spoils of the blue tongued devil, blueberry.  Maybe you are knitting in your rocking chair lost in a cream soda day dream or rocking the status quo cherry style.

But for the total freak - it's always the same.  The mystery flavor.  The thrill of unwrapping a sweet surprise only to be occasionally disappointed by the dud of all flavors, coconut.  Living in the spur of the moment ready to take on whatever life hands you... or at least what Spangler Candy Comapnay has been handing out since 1924.

You Know Who You Are!

Whatever it is, the mystery flavor continues to be a favorite in line at the bank for my children.  Normally a Dum-Dum would not incite such madness, but when you eat better than Dr. Oz and you're under the age of 6, opportunities like this are seldom wasted.  As a parent, it's enjoyable enough just to watch the delight of squealing little girls digging thru a germ filled basket of personality choices.

Now that I've just given Spangler my bank treat endorsement, let me tell you how to lose your appetite for them just as quickly.  Watch tears stream down the face of your child when you decide that their behavior does not get to the reap the benefits of deliciousness and for reasons that are out of their control.  Horrible mother? Let's find out!

Discipling a child who is learning to control their impulses is a difficult task for any parent and child team.  It's a different task when you are dealing with special needs, but both are difficult in the same way.  Deciding that you are going to teach a life lesson when you'd much rather take the easy way out is just as hard on Mom or Dad.

We've come a LONG way from ear covering and thrashing and I'd like to think that we are a more sophisticated and fine tuned as in years past.  We see the signs of sensory overload, we cope, we replace, we reward.  But we also discipline. And when it comes to learning how to control impulses or at least recognize and replace them, it's important that they learn self discipline.

People often wonder what I'm talking about when I tell them that I have a child with sensory disorder.  "She seems so well behaved."
"I've never seen her act out."
and on and on and on...

Well guess what? That luxury comes with consistent parenting, constant role playing, hard lessons, and acceptance that their behavior is in THEIR control, not ours.  It's not by chance that my kid walked across the parking lot without flailing their arms, knocking into cars or body moving spastically.  It's a discussion when we get out of the vehicle, it's coaching the behavior and handing over the action instead of driving it and the simple success of it all is beyond rewarding for everyone.

Give kids the tools they need to succeed, show them how to use them and you have given them a gift for life.  I'm certainly not saying that at time I don't want to scream "STOP MAKING ME INSANE," because well, no one's perfect and sometimes they push me over my breaking point.  I'm saying that it's hard to get a child ready to be in the world without you, but the early bird does get the worm.  Or the Dum-Dum in this case...

So back to the Dum-Dum... that day we didn't make it across the parking lot.  We couldn't pull it together while filling out a deposit slip.  All was lost standing in a crowded line waiting for an open teller.  And we certainly didn't make it to the candy basket.  But I did sneak one and slip it into my purse before we left.  It breaks me in half to not give her the things that she wants considering the things that she continues to go thru medically and emotionally, but I'm not serving her any justice by covering life with sugar.  She has a feeding tube under her shirt, glasses for her preemie eyes on, standing 2 inches shorter than her little sister and crying in line at the bank and I'm sure as anything that she WILL remember this one.  It's going to be my job to make sure the memory ends on a positive note when it's time.

I still have that Dum-Dum in my purse.  I'm saving it for a time when she least expects it and is able to control her sensory or with a little help from Mom, deal with it.  The mystery is in the action when we are not around.. She's a few weeks away from walking into a Kindergarten classroom and I want her to be prepared for success and know that Mom is not always going to be there to catch her, but I'll be in the back of her head rooting her on to get back up when she does fall.

Adelina I love you baby... We can do this.