Think about it. The responsibility is on our shoulders. For now. Who steps in later in life when Mom and Dad aren't here or in need themselves? When does that shift begin?
I'll tell you when it begins. For us - it was the moment they lifted a full term, 8lb baby in the air, covered in goo and she opened her eyes and cried.
We named her "Light" or Lucia. She was the only thing that was shining so brightly for us in such a dark time. And she did just that. Our lives were filled with such overwhelming relief that she was not sick or challenged. In fact, she was quite extraordinary in every facet that we were previously challenged with the others. She made us realize how HARD the others were working and that gave us a new perspective on how resilient and strong and determined the others were.
Remember my first three daughters were born in a 25 month span. I don't think I've realized how incredible it is until I imagine my now 2 year old as an "older sister." We must have been nuts. They were all developing within months of the same milestones. It wasn't until they were a bit older that we realized our Lucia would soon reach most of them first.
She never rubs it in. She never leaves anyone out. She pushes her sisters to try things they are hesitant about by simply just doing them. Sibling rivalry is quite the persuasive beast that Mom and Dad cannot replicate.
When Gianna cut her hair for locks of love, it was Lucia who sat next to her in the salon. It was Lucia's smile as she put her arm around her sister beaming with pride that made that moment extra special for me. When Adelina goes to the hospital, it's Lucia who always goes along for support. I never have to sit alone in the waiting room and Adelina has someone to jump up and down with in the elevators with (her own age hee-hee). She knows where to park, what floor crosses over to the main hospital, where the good cookies are and what NOT to say to other parents and children. She "primes" the milk pump for me at night so I can get the baby to bed. And if I need a few moments, she more than willingly plays with the her too - sometimes even stealing some nail polish and painting her nails. But it's those moments that tell me to get the camera instead of losing my temper.
When I'm about to blow a lid during tutoring sessions, I can quietly ask her if she understands and then ask her to show me how I can make it work better. She makes me feel like a "normie" parent... the kind that doesn't have to check to make sure they are walking down the stairs one foot on each step or chewing without their hands in their mouth. She rode a bike at 3, she rides horses with girls 2 years older. She does these amazing things now, because she doesn't want to be left out. But time will show that it's because she actually doesn't want them to be alone. I'm raising a most compassionate and fun little girl and she owes these traits just as much to the sisters who may some day need her in a different way. I'm confident she will make good choices, because she already does without realizing it.
I always talk about how resilient my kids are, but I really do mean ALL of them. Thank you Lucia. This little light of mine - I'm going to let it shine. And she's bright as the sun.... and as this picture shows - superheroes can come in princess pj's and underwear masks and sometimes they haven't even started Kindergarten yet.
